I dial 07 for 24-hour Room Service. A woman answers, greets me in Chinese.
“Good afternoon. Can you speak English?”
Giggles on other end. Phone is passed to a male person. “Good afternoon!”
“Yes, good afternoon. Can I order for room service please?”
More nervous giggles from other end. Phone is passed to another woman. I hear an exchange of Chinese words, and can imagine the phone receiver being tossed about like a hot potato.
“Yes, may I help you?” She speaks with heavy accent but I understand it.
“Yes I would like to order Yangzhou fried rice, please.”
“Yes.”
“And can you send me some soy sauce please?”
“Uhhh… sui sous?”
“Soy sauce.” I say it slow and clear this time.
“Yes… sui sous.”
“Thank you.” I cross my fingers and hope for the best.
“Yes. Thank you.” Click.
Twenty minutes later, I get my Yangzhou fried rice (which comes with a bowl of soup, nice touch!) and … a bowl of dried chilli in oil — that was my sauce on the side. No “sui sous.” Oh well, not too much of a tragedy. I had been through worse. I am split about this language thing, I swing between admiration and irritated awe as a visitor in a foreign land… particularly for front-line workers in the tourism/service industry.
Which reminded me of this forwarded email re: “Teenjeewberrymuds.” I paste the email here:
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what ‘tenjewberrymuds’ means by the end of the conversation. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”
Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”
RS: “Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??”
G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs.”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “What??”
RS: “Ow July den?…pryed, boyud, poochd?”
G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”
RS: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine.”
RS : “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”
G: “What?”
RS:”An toes. July Sahn toes?”
G: “I don’t think so.”
RS: “No? Judo wan sahn toes??”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”
RS: “Toes! toes!…Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”
G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RS: “We bodder?”
G: “No…just put the bodder on the side.”
RS: “Wad?”
G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Excuse me?”
RS: “Copy…tea…meel?”
G: “Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.”
RS: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy….rye??”
G: “Whatever you say.”
RS: “Tenjewberrymuds.”
G : “You’re very welcome.”
(P.S. Thanks to Upeng for forwarding this email… and to whoever originally wrote this!)
